That's right kids today we are talking about pirates...they have been in the news lately in Somalia and i think they are never far from our hearts as everyones favorite outlaw killers...
What do you think of when you first hear pirate? I think of a few things right off the bat..
First,
The Peg Leg...The peg leg is a staple of all awesome pirates...there is nothing like the gait of a one legged pirate chasing you, im sure they are great for sailing the open sea, so much for sea legs!
Next,
The Eye Patch...another staple of a good pirate...this is huge on a number of levels...not only is it terrifying to look at, the empty eye socket it is a convenient place to store that emergency gas money...think one eyed willie in the goonies...
The last is...
A parrot... i have no idea why pirates love parrots beside the fact that they are awesome and can say a few words...I guess you can say they can bring in the ladies like no other bird...see above
This pirate clearly got the memo is doing a lot of things right...take note future pirate and pirate wanna-bes...
Coming in a strong honorable mention is the....
Hook hand...this would have easily made the list if it was a bit more practical...it does make a handy hands free weapon but is not good for steering ships,drinking grog, and picking up your pirate booty so you upward mobility in the pirate world is not good.
The pirate above is clearly a wanna-be, notice that is not a real hook hand, you can clearly see his real hand holding it so i am not impressed...he is probably the worst pirate ever and some captains little brother so everyone just plays along and lets him be...
Contrary to popular belief the pirate in the news recently in Somalia didnt look like regular pirate such as...
I mean really, if you are going to be a pirate at least do it right as Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom have so appropriately done it above...
Lets take a look at one of these "pirates" of today...
while he does have more impressive weaponry than a sword or hook his attire needs an update, at least he could have put on some pants for the big adventure...and what pirate hides his identity? you have to take all the glory for your dashing escapades!
These pirates do have a pretty sweet home base...its seems like this is a big game of tag and base is somalia...they act as if they will be home free if they can only reach the coast...for those of us who dont know where somalia is chck the map below...
it seems to be corupt lawless place that allows these pirates to bully their way into prominance...all these people are are robbers and thugs looking for quick cash...i think now they have gotten some media attention thus getting more military attention their days are numbered so they will have to go back to robbing their own people in mogadishu and continuing their reign of terror in their own streets...do you think the somali government will take a little more notice then? hmmm i guess we will see...
And really i think they are just sad/mad that they have the most boring flag in the world..
So all of you pirates, aspiring pirates, and wanna-be pirates i leave you with this...
buck up little ones, its not that bad...now go find a real job...we are tired of playing with you...and remember, invoking parley only works with other pirates...
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